Top 10 annoying things people who aren’t Star Wars uber-fans say

There are a few key characteristics that define a real Star Wars fan: They’re fanatically detail-oriented, they’re opinionated, and they’re incredibly well researched. The ultimate Space Opera holds a precious and meaningful place in their lives, and they certainly do not take kindly to Star Wars novices fluffing their favourite plot twists.

With Force Friday fast approaching, Star Wars fever is stronger than ever. Whilst the mega-fans are re-reading their George Lucas biographies, the Star Wars uninitiated are joining in the conversation with naive and (to a mega-fan) unforgivable statements.

We did a quick whip round of the office (which includes a collection of die-hard fans and an array of Star Wars virgins) to find out the top 10 most annoying things non-Star Wars fanatics say about Star Wars.

Is it the same as Star Trek?

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Yes, they’re both science fiction franchises set in space, but this is where the similarities end. To a Star Wars fan, this comparison is sheer lunacy. Star Trek is about space exploration whilst Star Wars is a filmic Space Opera. Oh, and it’s Star Trek that does that hand signal thing. Or Vulcan Salute if you’re being fussy.

Didn’t Luke and Leia have sex?

Why do people think Luke and Leia got it on. They didn’t!! They do engage in a bit of incest, but it’s just a snog, so stop being pervy.

Luke – I am your father

To all you mediocre fans in your Darth Vader halloween helmets breathing ‘Luke – I am your father’ – you are WRONG! This is simply not the line in the film. What Darth Vader really says at this pivotal moment is ‘No, I am your father’. So get it right.

Han Shot First

In the original films Han Solo shoots Greedo in the cafeteria scene first, and no other bullet is shot. The scene was altered twice, once where Greedo shoots first and misses, and Han Solo shoots back and kills him. In the second version they shoot instantaneously. At no point does Han shoot first. Work on those reflexes Han.

Star Wars is unrealistic

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It’s not unrealistic, it’s fiction! We mean, some of the films do look pretttty real…but they’re a philosophical narrative set LITERALLY IN SPACE, so come on! Hey, there may well be some UFO / space business the government isn’t telling us about, but as far as the movie business knows; Wampas, Nexus and all the rest of it are in the ‘make believe’ category.

Calling the original trilogy Star Wars 1, 2 and 3

Anyone who’s heard of Star Wars knows there’s some mind-boggling business going on with time-lines. Along with Ewoks and light sabers, it’s one of the most defining elements of the franchise. Although the first films to be released were ‘IV – The New Hope’, ‘V – The Empire Strikes Back’ and ‘VI – Return of the Jedi’, they were followed by a prequel trilogy. Confusing, hey.

Why does Darth Vader talk like that?

Darth Vader’s breathy voice must be one of the most iconic things about the whole franchise – but not everyone knows his sultry tones are the result of a respiratory condition brought on by a near-fatal duel with Obi-Wan Kenobi. That slick suit is actually a life support system designed to protect his charred body, which most likely included breathing support – hence the wheeze.

I’ve never seen Star Wars

This is an obvious one. Not everyone is destined to be a superfan, but come on – it’s one of the seminal works of our time, and it’s a ruddy Space Opera, how cool is that? What’s more, it’s concerned with the most elemental discourse of, you know, ever – the battle between good and evil. Worth a watch, don’t you think?

Rey in The Force Awakens is just like Luke in A New Hope

This one is sort of correct, but it’s too simple –  it’s like calling the sky blue. And, let’s not forget, Star Wars is an OPERA – they’re always maddeningly complicated. Have you not heard of a cyclical arc?

In what film do they say ‘I have a bad feeling about this’?

Rookie error! The phrase ‘I have a bad feeling about this’ is said in every single one of the films, more than once in some, and has become somewhat of a running joke in the franchise.

Whether you’ve ‘possibly seen the one with Ewan McGregor’ or you’ve been to actual conventions (that Ewok costume was a bit hot…), make sure you check out our new Star Wars range.