And the award for best powersports vehicle goes to...
The SCARPAR, Powersports for Board Riders.
This amazing vehicle will have you from A to B in next to no time. Imagine cruising around the shops with this mean machine. We want one, and we want one NOW.
Some Fireboxers had a flutter at lunchtime on the Cheltenham Races. It's time to kiss your screens coz this little beauty won us some money!
Kauto Star has won the 2009 Cheltenham Gold Cup, seeing off stablemate Denman by 13 lengths to become the first horse to regain National Hunt's blue-riband race, after his victory in 2007.
Now we don't condone betting, but it's nice to have the odd bet. A great start to the weekend!
...is that a military-grade lemon Kevlar Aramid bullet-proof handkerchief you have -- meticulously folded -- in your pocket, or are you just stylishly glad to see me?
This pocket protector was indeed on sale, for a limited run, from Liborius. "The store and designer take NO responsibility for schmucks and wooden-heads who feel compelled to test the endurance or resistance of the textile in any way."
Since the 'traditional gentleman who is against the vulgarity of modern culture' will want to read on, we draw your attention to the Chap and Hendrick's Gin Olympiad.
Held in June in a secret London glade, events are kicked of with the lighting of the Olympic Pipe. Highlights include: Martini Knockout Relay, where contestants battle to make a martini without the aid of a butler. Bounders, whereby "six Cads approach six ladies. The winner is the cad who receives the loudest slap, but maintains the wryest smile." And Shouting at Foreigners, when each Chap must procure gentlemanly essentials, such as kippers or a trouser press, from a shopkeeper with no command of English and few manners. Click on the above image for BBC coverage of the event.
Strict moustache testing goes on. "If you can't be genuine in your facial accoutrements," explains Gustav Temple, editor of The Chap magazine, "how can you possibly wear cufflinks with conviction?"
Cucumber sandwiches at the ready. Next stop: Movember.
