Queen’s Speech 2012: Behind the scenes

Earlier in the week, Firebox spoke to the Queen backstage after her annual address to the parliament; pictured above is our man asking the questions.

She spoke to us enthusiastically about “economic growth, justice and constutional reform” and other things like “devolved institutions” and some sort of “Green Investment Bank”. 

But her majesty had more exciting news; for those that don’t know, 2012 marks the year of her Diamond Jubilee (25 wonderful years as Monarch). Ma’am told us “Prince Phillip and I will….take part in celebrations across the United Kingdom”.

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Q. What do you get when you cross Duff Beer, idiots, Scrabble Beer Mats spelling out potentially fruity words, a naughty dog, an unstable ladder and a Human Unicorn? A. Friday at the Firebox office. Please note: Photograph by ‘Droid’: His exclusive back stage footage candidly explores the abstruse relationship between animal, object d’art & feudalism in 13th century England. All models are available for all kinds of glamour work. ALL. KINDS. Attractive rates. No job too small or seedy. That dog is a menace to our couriers. That unicorn is a thief.

Q. What do you get when you cross Duff Beer, idiots, Scrabble Beer Mats spelling out potentially fruity words, a naughty dog, an unstable ladder and a Human Unicorn?

A. Friday at the Firebox office.

Please note:

Photograph by ‘Droid’: His exclusive back stage footage candidly explores the abstruse relationship between animal, object d’art & feudalism in 13th century England.

All models are available for all kinds of glamour work. ALL. KINDS. Attractive rates. No job too small or seedy.

That dog is a menace to our couriers. That unicorn is a thief.

London mayor election: Polls open for people to cast votes

Polling booths have opened in the election of the next London mayor.

There are eight mayoral candidates: Siobhan Benita (Independent), Carlos Cortiglia (BNP), Boris Johnson (Conservative), Jenny Jones (Green), Ken Livingstone (Labour), Brian Paddick (Lib Dems), Lawrence Webb (UKIP) and The Famous Magical Unicorn (Firebox).

Ballot counting starts on Friday and the winner is expected to be announced late on Friday night.

We wish the candidates the best of luck!

Tags london mayor unibombing famousmagicalunicornmask

Joseph Hurn must be an Avenger

Our esteemed Customer Service Chief, Joe Hurn (above) may look like an ordinary man but he is really an extraordinary man.

In almost four years (that is over 1000 working days) he has managed to NEVER miss a day of work through sickness. Some accomplishment and, thus far unbeatable within the Firebox camp.

Joe’s secret? Enjoying a Burger King XL Bacon Double Cheeseburger every Friday. (“No, there hasn’t been an eclipse, that’s just our XL Bacon Double Cheeseburger blocking out the sun” boasts the King).

And never walking up the stairs.

“My theory has always been that if you treat your body like s**t (feeding it bad food / doing no exercise etc), it is in constant survival mode, always alert, always ready to fight off the next infection. A battle hardened, Rambo-esque immune system.

If you spoil your body with salads and exercise, it gets complacent and useless, giving it a false sense of security.”

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Tags burgerking avenger sick days skiving

The ZX Spectrum is 30 years old. Doesn’t that age your heart so? So what if the loading sequence was fraught with danger. The power pack nuclear hot if left on for more than an hour. Just look at her! She’s a design classic. The graphics! The strange noises! It was MIND BLOWING at the time. (Mind you so were Sodastreams). Jet Set Willy. Hungry Horace. Football Manager. Operation Wolf. The Hobbit. Elite. Head Over Heels. It’s making us vibrate with joy just recalling those salad days. Manic Miner was a brutal piece of gameplay for any era. A stone cold classic. Why not celebrate with a quick game? However - before you do - you should invest in a heat changing Manic Miner Mug from Firebox, to catch your salty tears of nostalgia.

The ZX Spectrum is 30 years old. Doesn’t that age your heart so?

So what if the loading sequence was fraught with danger. The power pack nuclear hot if left on for more than an hour. Just look at her! She’s a design classic. The graphics! The strange noises! It was MIND BLOWING at the time.

(Mind you so were Sodastreams).

Jet Set Willy. Hungry Horace. Football Manager. Operation Wolf. The Hobbit. Elite. Head Over Heels. It’s making us vibrate with joy just recalling those salad days.

Manic Miner was a brutal piece of gameplay for any era. A stone cold classic. Why not celebrate with a quick game?

However - before you do - you should invest in a heat changing Manic Miner Mug from Firebox, to catch your salty tears of nostalgia.

Cool iPhone case if you’re a member of Yakuza

This is an iPhone case with a difference. Yes, it is extraordinarily chunky and impractical and there has been no apparent thought with regards ergonomics. Well that is because it has been designed to withstand a shot from a .50 calibre machine gun. Yes, it is bulletproof. 

We’d love to hear from anyone who has actually had their iPhone smashed to pieces by a machine gun bullet. Maybe this is quite common in Japan for, say, a member of Yakuza or someone from one of these cities in Mexico. On second thoughts, please don’t get in touch. 

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Tags bulletproof don'ttrythisathome iphone lifeproof yakuza