Introducing Unicorn Tears Gin Liqueur Miniatures: 10 occasions you absolutely need these little beauties
We’re completely beside ourselves to launch Unicorn Tears Gin Liqueur Miniatures! Which are, you guessed it – the tiny version of our Unicorn Tears Gin Liqueur. Same sweet taste, same sparkle, and same amazing ability to make you unfathomably happier, but in a handy 50ml bottle. This diddy booze-treat consists of tears mined from a baby unicorn’s first cry, so it also contains an appropriate amount of mythic spirit to add to your cocktail.
Undoubtedly, there are moments when you need the full-sized, f**k off bottle of Unicorn Tears, buts sometimes only the miniature version will do. In fact, the ability to pull a Unicorn Tears Miniature out of your pocket/fanny pack/bra is the only thing preventing the below situations from being absolutely f**king awful. Read on to find out the 10 occasions you absolutely need Unicorn Tears Miniatures.
Order Unicorn Tears Miniatures here…
1.When the party’s an hour away and you like your liquor undiluted
Half an hour into the pre-drinks and 3/4 through your second drink, what you really do NOT want is a 55 minute tube journey to kill your vibe. Don’t even think of trying to funnel (you don’t own a funnel) undiluted orange squash and vodka into a dented Evian bottle! Instead, pick up a coupla Unicorn Tears Miniatures and tuck them away into whatever storage option your outfit allows, or just hold one in each hand, for on-the-go sipping.
2.When you’re trying to sneak a bottle or two into the festival
£10 for a double and £3 deposit for the glass? You must be cray-cray! Festival drinks prices are steep, but getting your 70cl bottle of vodka confiscated at the entry is all kinds of awkward. A few petite bottles of Unicorn Tears Miniatures tucked into ski socks, tent poll bags, wellies etc. are much more likely to pass, and they make the best cocktails to enjoy on your soon-to-be-stolen camping chair.
3.When you can’t fit a full sized one into your tiny bag
Unless you’re planning on taking a sturdy backpack out tonight, we suggest opting for a few Unicorn Tears Miniatures. We all know the pain of a brand new bottle of booze escaping from your tote onto the hard, hard pavement. Or the horrifying sensation as your bottle breaks free from its plastic-bag-prison – again, onto the hard, hard pavement.
4.When your days of unbranded vodka and Frosty Jacks are officially over
You used to be totally content with whatever was half price at the corner shop. And how about a delicious half litre of Frosty Jacks to start the night off right? Luckily, these days are behind you. Now what you crave is a more sophisticated tipple with just the right amount of sass. Oh, and wouldn’t it be swell if it came handily double-shot-sized for ease of pouring? Enter, Unicorn Tears Miniatures.
5.When you want to make a bit of a splash at pre-drinks
Sure, you could rock up to the pre-drinks with Tesco Metro’s finest fruit cider. On the other hand, you could bring something that’s not really, really boring and a bit horrid tasting. Picture it. You flounce into your pal’s house like you’re Kesha, reach into your bag and present 3 (or more) sparkling, delicious, mythical Unicorn Tears Miniatures. Damn you quirky.
6.When you want to give the best gift at your friend’s birthday
A gift can say a lot about you. Dusty bottle of peach schnapps from the offie just round the corner: ‘I forgot your birthday and I have sh*t taste’. Glittering, magical, mini bottles of Unicorn Tears Gin Liqueur: ‘I appreciate you and I’m much cooler than all your other friends, which they are now abundantly aware of’.
7.When you’re taking a flight
Who doesn’t need a little booze to weather the uneasy experience of levitating in a massive metal container literally thousands of metres above the ground? Pop a couple of Unicorn Tears Miniatures in your hand luggage (at 50ml each, two hit the 100ml limit perfectly) and enjoy with tonic, or straight up, depending on what sort of in-flight experience you’re after.
8.When you need some portion control
Some people can see a big bottle of gin and think ‘I’m going to pace myself and drink sensible amounts of this lovely liquid to avoid alcohol-related blunders’, and others cannot. If you’re the second, you need Unicorn Tears Miniatures. Each bottle contains a double shot of sweet gin liqueur; so perfect for a double with mixer, and takes the portion control issue out of your hands.
9.When you think you might need to be a bit tipsy, but discretely
There are some occasions which are just best not approached totally sober: Team building exercises, avant-guard theatre, frank chats with significant others etc. For these moments, it’s essential you have a hand-held and portable vessel of alcohol available for sneaky top-ups. Don’t faff around filling up a hip flask and hide some Unicorn Tears Miniatures into your inside pockets.
10.When it’s a been a tw*t of a day and you need some mythic power with your G+T
Your Tuesday has gone from sh*t to really f**king shit, and you’ve been dreaming of that perfectly-proportioned Unicorn Tears Miniature tipping it’s sparkle-joy into a tumbler all day. Too-tight jeans, that email you accidentally ‘sent to all’ and falling into a displeased gentleman on the tube suddenly fade into insignificance. That’s the power of the unicorn.