For Valentine's we put a page on Firebox inviting people to anonymously submit their love and gift dilemmas to our resident Dr. Love. We got lots of questions, proving that you lot are a pretty confused bunch. Weird too: some of the questions were frankly unprintable.
Dr. Love's surgery is now closed to new patients, but here are a few of our favourite diagnoses. You can check out the full list here.
Hi, when I'm older how do I get my girlfriend to wear the Naughty Knot and not seem like a bit of a loser?
Hide all of her clothes when she’s not looking / in the shower/
making you a corned beef sandwich. Upon her return, act as equally
flabbergasted as she, and then come to her rescue like the knight in
shining armour that you are with the red ribbon. She will love you
forever and may even have your babies.
Help. No one will ever match up to my first love, Craig David. How do I get my bo selecta back?
It very much depends on whether he wants you back. Sometimes I think
the same thoughts about Dr. Peter Venkman. But at least you have this.
Me and my boyfriend are both in a screamo/rock band and I don't know what to get him.
Maybe some fans would do the trick. Not real ones, mind - that would
be too hard; I’m not a miracle worker. How about the uber cool, Tengu? He’s just come out in black and will sing along to your screamo, no matter how hard you rock out.
Why won't my potato eat my cereal?
I'm gonna refer you to a Nutritionist.
